"It'll come in due time." My mother used to love to tell me this. I was an impatient child and wanted everything right away: from rewards to answers and everything in between, I wanted everything then and there. One fall, I was snooping inside my mother's closet and found a puzzle, still wrapped in plastic. I brought it to my mom and asked "Is this for me?" Of course it was. "Can I play with it?"
-This was meant to be your Christmas present, you can open it and play with it, but that is still your Christmas present! It will not get you anything else!
Her warning went completely disregarded, I had stopped listening after "you can open it". I made the puzzle once, twice, probably three time in the weeks that followed. In early December, I had moved on to other toys and completely forgotten about this one. I did not even notice when the puzzle went missing. Came Christmas eve, Midnight Mass, I rushed home to open my presents under the Christmas tree. There was my gift! Just one? Oh well! I had sparkles in my eyes and figured this gift would have to be extra special since there was just the one. I opened it...
There was the puzzle box, the same puzzle box I'd opened months earlier, played with a dozen times, had made and re-made... that wasn't a surprise! Gifts are supposed to be surprises! My mom quickly reminded me of her words when I opened the gift. I looked at my mom, angry, sad, disapointed... ashamed! Never have I ever looked for my gifts ever again, I never questioned anyone, never snooped around: I learned the worth of the element of surprise.
In the same line of thought, when I chose to give myself three years before chosing whether to become a Muslim or not, I never shown impatience, I never gave up on learning and never looked to convert earlier. It seemed to be as much a deal with myself than a deal with God. Lately, I have been asked why I was not converting officially right away since I already made up my mind.Well, I am certain that God inspires all kinds of thing to people, to me, the deadline may have been an inspiration. God has a plan for each of us, trying to mess with the plan makes it come back and bite you in the... well, you get my drift. I'm trying to be patient and waiting. The way I see it, perhaps there are other lessons I have to learn before I convert, lessons that are not clear to me yet, but will be in due time. When the day comes, I will be ever so grateful to have been given the gift of knowledge of God, of patience and of the lessons learned. Why hurry and worry each day about the Afterlife, when we have no control over when we will reach it? God has a plan and I trust in this plan whole heartedly!